


Something Dead Something Darker

by CarnivalofBrokenDolls (yourrhinestoneeyes)



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Anger, Ed isn't okay, Gen, Grief, Hate, Regret, episode 14
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-06
Updated: 2017-04-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 20:16:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 907
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10557060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yourrhinestoneeyes/pseuds/CarnivalofBrokenDolls
Summary: Somebody died inside of Ed's mind the same time that Oswald died, but with all the different people Ed has attempted to be through his life it's hard to tell who died or if it matters anymore.





	

The cold drops of rain felt like ice as they hit against his skin, each labored breath drew chilled early morning air into his lungs causing them to burn. Through his now water stained glasses Ed stared down at the waters, the gun was still held loosely in his hand. He could hear the rain as it pelted against the wood of the dock he stood upon, he could hear each heavy breath that he exhaled as he watched Oswald’s corpse sink further down.

Down, down, down…

There was a sound in his head, it was akin to static of an old television set. He thought of the TV that his parents owned, the bulky one that sat on a cheap entertainment stand in their living room. He would spend hours as a child sitting on the floor staring up at it, even after the cable had been shut off due to their inability to pay it, Ed would still sit and stare at the TV. He would place his hand against it feeling the tickle of the static against the palm of his small hand, the sound of dead silence lulled him and comforted him, it took him away from the sound of his father calling his mother a whore in the next room.

Oswald’s eyes were bright even beneath the murky waters, his hands still reached towards him, and Ed could almost feel a touch that hadn’t been there.

There was an ache in his chest and a pain in the pit of his stomach, his mind played static like a TV with no channels to play. 

Harsh cackling laughter broke the spell. The sound jolted him making him jump, he looked around at his surroundings expecting to find somebody there with him. The last thing that he needed was a witness to his gristly crime.

It took him a second to realize the one laughing was himself. The laughter started out harsh and almost forced, but once he noted he was the one creating the sound it became something more genuine, something intensely manic. 

Ed dropped to his knees clutching the sides of his head as he laughed. Tears rolled down his cheeks, tears that were born of sick laughter, not the tears of fear and sadness he had been crying before his crime. 

Now the static in his brain was a lullaby, he could feel a heavy weight on his shoulder that came as a reassuring sort of a comfort, something that told him this was okay.

It was okay to laugh, to celebrate his latest victory.

Why hadn’t he just granted a dead man one last wish? He could have allowed Oswald to touch his face, to touch him one last time. He could have lied, said ‘I love you too’.

Laughter turned to sobbing as he collapsed against the chilled wood of the dock. He dropped the gun to the ground and placed his hands over his face as heavy sobs wracked his body.

He needed it to be okay. He needed somebody. He wanted Isabella or Kristen, he wanted the loving touch of a beautiful kind hearted woman who would hold him in her arms and tell him it was all going to be okay, that he did what he had to do. He had to avenge her, he had to avenge the love of his life.

He had to kill him.

This had to be done.

One last touch, that’s all that Oswald had wanted from him.

‘I love you, I did it because I love you.’

Words haunted him, words yelled in a broken voice. The voice of somebody who was desperate and full of pain.

No guilt, no regret.

It had to be done.

Ed could never love somebody like Oswald, Ed wasn’t attracted to him. Ed couldn’t be with somebody like him, no, no, no.

Sobbing turned to muffled screaming.

He ached, his head hurt, his chest, his stomach, and every muscle in his body throbbed with pain. It hurt, breathing hurt. The air was cold and made him feel like he was being suffocated by the cold hands of death.

It had to happen, he had to die.

‘You killed her, so you have to die.’

Yes, yes, yes that was right. Oswald had to die, he had to.

Ed was in the right here, he wasn’t the villain in this story. He was the hero, Gotham didn’t need men like Oswald Cobblepot, men who thought they had the right to take what they wanted with no regard to how others felt.

Love was sacrifice, love was admitting you made a mistake.

An apology. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry. That’s all you had to say damn it!” Ed screamed as he stared out at the water.

There was no response, his breathing was ragged. He pounded his fists against the ground.

“I’m sorry….I’m sorry”

‘Barbara is going to be wondering why we aren’t back yet, we should get back to the club before she gets suspicious.’

“You’re right.” Ed agreed as he slowly pulled himself back up onto his feet.

He no longer felt like himself, not that he knew who he was. He felt somebody slipping, somebody dying, someone inside of him was dying and sinking just like Oswald had.

Whoever it was leaving the docks and returning to the car was somebody new, something vicious, and without a sense of feeling.


End file.
